What Does it Mean to Find Yourself?

How do you know if you know the real you? People travel across the world to spiritually-rich countries to "find themselves". So, what does it mean to find yourself?

What are we really searching for? And do we know when we have found it?

I've been on a long six-year journey, desperate to find out who I am. The internal processes that occurred throughout this journey, and my growing awareness of these internal processes, are how I came to discover the true me.

It's not that I have managed to know myself completely; it's that I've found my way to the path of self-realization. This is a path of a lifetime. It's a flow of life that keeps you going forward in self-development and self-mastery. There is no finish line while you're breathing. Death is the reward at the end.

Sounds unpleasant, exhausting, and unprofitable. Doesn't it? At least it doesn't sound like a whole lot of fun to do all that hard work with no recognition or reward, right?

That's because it is exhausting and unpleasant. And not profitable one bit.

It's challenging, overwhelming, intense, and painful.

It's easy to clock in to work for 8 hours a day and mindlessly do "work" that you're not personally invested in and then come home and check out in front of the TV or on your phone until the next day. That's easy.

What's hard is to see yourself as who you truly are, accept all of those painfully shameful things about yourself, and find the humor in having to have experienced those things that caused you shame. That's not easy. It's a severely disturbing and painful process. And the ego makes it a very challenging process, nonetheless.

There is no way around it. Absolutely not.

You see, to know yourself, you must look at yourself. Duh, right?

You must look at how you approach challenges, how thoughtful you are (or are not) in your relationships, and with strangers. How considerate, patient, honest, respectful, compassionate, gentle, kind, and accepting you are, or aren't.

You must look at how genuinely you give, how authentically happy you are for others' success, and how effectively you set boundaries to support an honest way of life.

You must look at how you treat your physical body. Are your current habits and behaviors supporting a healthy way of life, or are they destroying your health? Your physical body is your temple, your instrument, and the only thing you actually own in this 3D realm... How are you taking care of it?

You must look at all your thought processes, mind traps, and unconscious behavior patterns. You must look deeply at your traumas and energetic blocks. And you must look straight in the face of the victim, you so desperately believe you are.

These things are difficult for us to see as they really are. Not only do we not make time to sit with ourselves in meditation and self-reflection... We don't even realize we need to be doing this if we want to better our lives.

So, what does it mean to know yourself? Or is it just another illusion trap to get sucked into?

To know yourself is to know you are on the path of self-realization (that's what it means to me, at least)

I realized this when I had an experience on LSD many years ago. This experience was unlike anything I've ever experienced, and it plugged my consciousness in with the Source of Unconditional Love. It was then that I remembered what real love is: a vibration, a path, a reality. Love is so much deeper than a feeling; it's a way of being and moving in this life. Love is a vibration, as is fear.

We come into this world through pure unconditional love and straight into a densely fearful reality.

As we mature into teenagers, we pick up on all sorts of false beliefs, people's opinions, world concepts, scientific research, conspiracy theories, political propaganda, religious indoctrinations, Hollywood programming, etc. and we start to develop our avatars based on all of these external factors.

These external factors in place, shape our internal realities and the programming starts to come from our own self as we mature into adults. Now as adults, we are just walking programs: sleep, gym, work, bar, TV, sleep. Sure we'll throw in a trip every now and then and perhaps we have a solid morning and evening routine. But the deep connection to self is absent.

This is the depressive epidemic we are now in as a human civilization. We are all disconnected from the mind, body, and soul, and thus we are disconnected from having a profound human experience. And the worst of all, we never come to experience God

This is the reason we embark on the self-realization journey of mastering ourselves. To experience and know God, you must experience your own raw humanness.

There is no other way, because the God you so desperately want to connect with is found through the process of discovering yourself.

I am one of the biggest advocates of psychedelic medicines, specifically for this EXACT reason. Finding God in this lifetime is how I now live the coolest fucking life. My exploration of psychedelic medicine is how I found my way back home to myself, and it's my life's mission to make these medicines available to all who desire the same outcome.

Why do you need God in your life? That's actually a stupid question, but I'll answer it for you anyway.

First of all what is God? It's not the spiteful point of force the bible teaches you, that will one day judge the righteous to heaven and you a sinner to hell... You're living in hell, because this is the lowest dimension and it's drenched in fear. That's what hell is.

Heaven is the reality you choose to live in amongst this hell and is not a physical realm... yet. As the world awakens to love and more people stop living in fear, collectively we will create a physical heaven through thought and intention.

New Earth, maybe you've heard this term before? And no, this is not new age bullshit I'm talking about.

What I'm talking about is when enough souls are embodied and living from a place of love (no longer making moves out of fear), energetically this realm cannot hold this vibration and vice versa. Love cannot exist in fear, it's impossible. Therefore a new realm, like mitosis, will emerge with the souls who have aligned themselves to love.

This is heaven. It's being created and manifested by us. Those of us who want to live in truth, honesty, integrity, and acceptance. Those who want to live in the free-flowing current of love.

So, what is God? God is your connection to the Source of Unconditional love. Source has no name (don't be fooled by your religious texts and leaders), it is infinite consciousness. It has no shape or form; it's just an energetic frequency that holds this entire universe in its warm embrace.

Each person running around this hellish realm has their own individual God. You can be married 40 years to the same person, go to church with them and worship the same god from the same religion as they do, and STILL your god will differ from theirs.

You can observe someone and, from a short period of time, be able to tell who their God is. If the person is easily triggered, controlling, prideful, judgmental, ungrateful, etc... their god is not a God of Love.

So this is an invitation to remember the things that matter to you most. It's not your career, your accomplishments, or your material possessions.

It's you living in your most authentic truth and finding the connection to your mind, body, and soul. It's living from a place of pure authenticity and effortlessness.

Why? Because that's how you unlock the magic in this boring, ghetto ass realm.

Ready to explore a different realm and create a magical reality to wake up to every day?

We still have 4 spots available for our Ayahuasca ceremony next weekend - Two nights of ceremony, June 27th and 28th.

If you are in Germany (or anywhere in Europe for that matter) and have been feeling the call, this is your chance to find your way home while being held in the warm presence of a loving soul family.

Ayahuasca Weekend Retreat June 2025

Holding space for your journey and process is what my entire life has been preparing me for, and this is all I focus on in this life as Lana. Nothing brings me more joy than to witness people finding their way back to their true selves.

Sending you all so much love, wherever you are this exact moment.

⏤ Lana